Cheshunt

Last weekend I went to visit Williams and his missus in Cheshunt, just outside London. Label readers will recognise Cheshunt as the UK headquarters of supermarket giant Tesco, and indeed, the streets of the town are paved with low cost bean tins. Longtime fans of this blog* will remember Williams from an earlier post.

Williams is a virtuoso guitar player, and in fact the film El Mariachi is based on the years he spent in Central America as an itinerant busking hitman. Not only is he a dab hand at plucking a rousing flamenco tune, but he makes a mean Thai Green curry and can stand on his hands for as long as you like.

Ursula (right) asks Darren (left) if it's true that he composed the national anthem of Bulgaria.

So here are some snaps of Williams and his axe. It's rumoured that he's the mysterious sixth member of Manowar, but he denies this vehemently.

I met Williams at a Kreator concert many years ago. It was one of those concerts which you must have read about: multiple casualties and virtually everyone who has ever heard a Kreator lyric has either committed suicide or gone on a killing spree. And then committed suicide.

Camera buffs will be interested to know that the shutter speed on this was approximately 1/8000th of a second. And William's fingers ARE STILL BLURRY!!!

His guitar body is made of titanium impregnated cedar from a 1000 year old tree.

Williams is married to the indefatigable Mrs Williams, who strives to keep him in line. Here are some photos of them being married and stuff.

I was roaring at them to look at the camera. Would they? Not a chance.

Caution: Graphic images ahead.

"I know! White Zombie were ground breaking and genre forming!!"

OK enough of that.

Williams and I sought danger and adventure in the wilds of the Lee Valley Park. This is Williams' personal estate, which he has generously and anonymously opened to the public at large, a mistake in my opinion.

Having just spotted tiger spoor, Williams wonders whether it was a mistake to leave the .303 at the House.

Keeping an eye on the notoriously fickle Hertfordshire weather...

"Let's offroad!"

This picture is out of sequence, here Williams shows me how work is progressing on his private baths.

Investigating a nearby bush in terms of its' utility as a place to have a slash

This is Black Sunshine.

So there you go. A vignette of the whirlwind that is my life. You are not man enough to take it.

* I'm not going to stop you if you start a fan club.